<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>A Mile in Your Shoes by bunbondoeswriting</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24607099">A Mile in Your Shoes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunbondoeswriting/pseuds/bunbondoeswriting'>bunbondoeswriting</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>??? i dont know how to tag that, Body Swap AU, Confusion, Dirk is a little OOC, Hanging Out, M/M, Marijuana, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Recreational Drug Use, Sharing a Bed, dave and karkat swap bodies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:41:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,218</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24607099</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunbondoeswriting/pseuds/bunbondoeswriting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave and Karkat are known to argue, but one night they make the mistake of bothering a very tired Dirk, who switches their souls, because he can do that.  How will they cope? Will Dirk decide to change them back before they go insane?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Davepetasprite/Jade Harley, John Egbert/Dirk Strider, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A Little Predicament</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this story is unrated because as of now i dont know how far its going to go.</p><p>IM SORRY I MIGHT HAVE WROTE DIRK OOC IN THIS CHAPTER I DIDNT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Karkat rolled over in his bed, trying to get comfortable. It was 2:00 in the morning and he had hardly slept a wink. Lousy human sleeping arrangements. Just then, he heard a small ding from his phone. Groaning and realizing he probably wasn’t getting any more sleep, he reluctantly opened the mobile device. Seeing who it was from, he groaned louder and turned it back off, but it kept making noises. Two, three, four, five dings. Finally, he gave in and opened his phone back up to look at the messages.</p><p>
  <em>2:24 am</em>
</p><p>Dave: yo karkat<br/>
Dave: karkles<br/>
Dave: kittykat<br/>
Dave: kitkat<br/>
Dave: i know youre there man</p><p>
  <em>Sent 2:27 am</em>
</p><p>Karkat: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT DAVE<br/>
Karkat: I'M TRYING TO SLEEP</p><p>Dave: you left your weird troll romcom at my house dude</p><p><br/>
Karkat: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME<br/>
Karkat: YOU FUCKING NOOKWAFFLE ON A BULGESTICK<br/>
Karkat: YOU BOTHERED ME AT 2 IN THE FUCKING MORNING<br/>
Karkat: TO TELL MY I LEFT MY ROMCOM AT YOUR HOUSE<br/>
Karkat: WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS UNHOLY COULD YOU NOT HAVE WAITED UNTIL MORNING</p><p>Dave: just thought youd want it back</p><p>Karkat: OF COURSE I WANT IT BACK YOU DIMWITTED EXCUSE FOR A FEATHERBEAST-BRAINED HUMANOID LIFEFORM<br/>
Karkat: I'LL BE THERE IN 10</p><p>Dave: cool see you</p><p>
  <em>Read 2:32 am</em>
</p><p>That fucking bitch. Karkat made a mental note to lose Dave’s number. Having to deal with him gave Karkat a headache. He changed into a clean-ish sweater and a pair of pants before pulling on his black converse and heading out. It didn’t take long to walk to Dave’s apartment, probably closer to 6 minutes than 10. Karkat walked up the stairs to the apartment building and found Dave’s. After inhabiting Earth C, he had decided to try and live a normal life with his brother, Dirk. That is to say, about as normal as a Strider’s life gets. Karkat hadn’t even knocked before Dave came to the door.<br/>
“Come in, and try to be quiet, Dirk’s tryna sleep,” he stated simply.<br/>
“You don’t seem to care when I’m trying to sleep,” Karkat snapped at him.<br/>
“Nope.”<br/>
Karkat glared at Dave. “So where is it?”<br/>
“Where’s what?” Dave cocked an eyebrow above his aviators.<br/>
“You know what, ass-coddler,” Karkat hissed.<br/>
“Oh, that, yeah it’s just in my room, come on,” The taller male jerked his head backwards and turned around. Karkat followed him into a room down the hall. The room was a complete mess, empty apple juice bottles and bags of Doritos scattered over the floor, on the unmade bed, and on top of the desk. The only place free of mess was the turntables on the opposite side of the room. It looked exactly like the last time Karkat had been here. Dave closed the door behind them, then plopped down on the bed, opening a fresh bottle of apple juice.<br/>
“Dave, where is the movie?”<br/>
Dave took a swig out of his bottle. “Oh, you didn’t leave your movie here, I just couldn’t think of another way to get you to come over.”<br/>
“WHAT?”<br/>
“Shhhhhh”<br/>
“You tricked me! Why did you want me over here anyway?”<br/>
“I don’t know, you’re the only person close enough to visit this time of night.”<br/>
“Apparantly the only person stupid enough, too! I’m leaving, this was a waste of time!”<br/>
“Wait, Kitkat-” Karkat slammed the bedroom door in Dave’s face.<br/>
Karkat’s hand was on the door handle when he felt someone grab his wrist. “What do you want now?”<br/>
“I thought you might want this back,” Dave pulled Karkat’s phone out of his pocket as he let go of the troll’s arm. Karkat swiped his hand at it, but Dave pulled it just out of reach.<br/>
“What the fuck, Dave? Give it back!” Karkat grabbed at it again, but Dave just pulled it farther away. Karkat jumped at Dave, but this time Dave pulled the device above his head. “You bag of disease-ridden, worm-infested corpse bulges! Give it back!” Karkat jumped up and Dave levitated slightly above the ground.<br/>
“What’s the magic word?” The blonde taunted.<br/>
“FUCKFACE, GIVE ME MY PHONE OR ELSE!”<br/>
“Or else what?” Before Karkat could retort, something made a loud noise, as if someone had slammed a door against the wall angrily.<br/>
“What in the name of all hell are you two doing yelling and prancing around at three in the morning? Some of us are trying to get some shuteye.” Dirk had come out of his room, his hair a mess, dressed in a tank top and pajama bottoms, his shades forgotten by his bed so that the younger boys could clearly see the rage in his bright orange eyes. “I haven’t got a good night’s sleep in almost a week and I have a splitting headache, which you fucknuts aren’t exactly making any better with your pointless bickering.”<br/>
Dave and Karkat froze and stared at Dirk. Dave was a good three inches above the ground, the hand that held the phone outstretched behind and above him, the other pushing Karkat’s face away. Karkat was on his tiptoes, one arm reaching for his phone, the other clutching the front of Dave’s shirt. Dave spoke up, “Sorry dude, forgot.”<br/>
“David Elizabeth Strider, I SPECIFICALLY told you BEFORE I went to bed that I NEED to sleep, and NOT to make noise, and you invited the loudest person you know over at THREE IN THE FUCKING MORNING.” Dirk was fuming, pink magic dancing at his fingertips. Karkat squeezed his eyes shut as the room was illuminated by sparks. He felt something tug at him, not his body but his very essence. Almost as soon as it had begun, the tugging sensation stopped. As Karkat opened his eyes he immediately noticed that the room seemed to have gotten a lot darker. And he felt something on the bridge of his nose. He tentatively brought a hand to the top of his head where his horns should be, but all he felt was hair with too much gel in it to be his. He moved his hands to his ears, which he found were rounded instead of pointed, and had several piercings in them. He had just now realized that he was hovering, and yelped as he suddenly came crashing to the ground.<br/>
“What the FUCK, Dirk?” Karkat’s voice piped up, but Karkat hadn’t said anything. He turned his head to the voice and stared at his own body, moving and speaking without him. “Why didn’t you just kick us out?” Dave in Karkat’s body demanded.<br/>
“Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’m exhausted and high as fuck on pain killers, Kark- er- Dave. Now get the fuck out of my house, that was a good idea.”<br/>
“Ok, just let me pack my stuff-”<br/>
“Nope, out,” Dirk pointed at the door. Karkat had just got up from the floor, removing the idiotic sunglasses from his face so he could see better. Before he could do anything else, Dirk had grabbed him by the arm and was dragging him out the door.<br/>
“HEY! I AM PERFECTLY FUCKING CAPABLE OF WALKING MYSELF!” Dirk didn’t listen, only dragged him outside the apartment and closed the door behind him. He looked over to where Dave was, only he didn’t see him, so he had to look down. He had to squint to make out his facial features. Karkat had been so accustomed to the dark his whole life, but it turns out humans couldn’t see as well in the dark as trolls could. Dave, however, was reveling in the ability to see everything in better detail. Most people could never dream of seeing this well in the dark and- holy shit, Dave are you- he put his shades on. Back to mediocre eyesight I guess, irony seems to be more important. After a moment of silence, Karkat says, “You know this is all your fault, right?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>also i wrote this a while a go, first couple chapters might be sorta :/</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Paying a Visit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>oh yeah, dirk is kind of a dick in this sorry. i didnt know any better</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The walk to Karkat’s house was a long and silent one. When they got there, Karkat fumbled around in his pocket for his keys, only to discover that his keys were still in the pocket of the pants on his body. Dave had the keys and Karkat wasted no time slipping his hand in Dave’s back pocket to find them.<br/>
“Whoa, shouldn’t you at least ask me on a date first?” Dave smirked up at him.<br/>
Karkat pulled out the keys and started fumbling with them. “I need my keys to unlock the door, fuckass. Besides, it’s my ass I can touch it whenever I want.”<br/>
Dave let out a small chuckle, “Is that so?” Karkat didn’t answer, only stepped inside. He looked at the clock on his wall, but in the dark he couldn’t make out what it said, so he took out his phone to check the time. It was 3:15. Karkat yawned and headed to his bedroom, suddenly exhausted. He flopped down on the bed, curling up into his blanket. He had just gotten comfortable when he felt something prod into his side.<br/>
“Scoot over,” Dave demanded.<br/>
“Why?”<br/>
“Well, I’m not sleeping on the couch. I heard it causes problems for your back.”<br/>
Karkat grunted and moved closer to the wall, too tired to argue. “Stay on your side of the bed.” With that, he fell asleep.</p><p>Karkat yawned and blinked his eyes to adjust them to the light. He sat up and stretched his arms above his head, then slowly got up. Dragging his feet, he trudged into the hallway, heading toward the kitchen. He stopped for a moment, startled, when he heard the sound of someone moving around before the events of the previous night came back to him. Damn it, why are Striders so fucking weird? Sniffing, he smelled a nice aroma coming from the kitchen. Dave must have been cooking breakfast. Karkat walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table.<br/>
“Finally awake, sleepy head?” Karkat only grunted in response. Putting a stack of pancakes on each of two plates, Dave walked over to the table and sat one down in front of Karkat. He had brushed his hair to one side and put his shades back on. “I figure we better give it a little while before we head over to the apartment, don’t wanna wake Dirk up again.” Karkat walked over to the fridge and pulled out a can of whipped cream and a jug of maple syrup to top his breakfast with. He still said nothing, not being much of a morning person. Dave looked up from his plate and chuckled. “Careful, Kitkat, that much sugar could stop your heart. Well, stop my heart, I guess?” Karkat huffed and continued to drown his breakfast in syrup while Dave pondered their predicament. After finishing up, Karkat picked everything up and put the plates on the ever-growing pile of dishes, then poured himself a cup of coffee that had just finished brewing. Gently blowing on the hot liquid, Karkat sat down in the living room and turned on the television. Dave sat down on the opposite side of the couch, leaning against the arm when his phone went off.</p><p>
  <em>Sent 9:04 am</em>
</p><p>Dave: yo dirk<br/>
Dave: you up yet</p><p>
  <em>10:53 am</em>
</p><p>Dirk: Yo.<br/>
Dirk: Sup Lil Man?<br/>
Dave: not much<br/>
Dave: you sleep well</p><p>Dirk: Yeah, best I’ve slept in ages.<br/>
Dirk: Shoulda kicked you out sooner.</p><p>Dave: haha</p><p>Dirk: Speaking of which, you should come pack some clothes.<br/>
Dirk: I doubt your shouty boyfriend has anything that would fit you.</p><p>Dave: ok ill head over there now<br/>
Dave: and karkats not my boyfriend</p><p>Dirk: If you say so…</p><p>
  <em>Read 11:00 am</em>
</p><p>Dave sighed and put his phone in his pocket. He looked over at Karkat, who was sipping his coffee. “I’m gonna head over to the apartment and get some stuff. You wanna come with?”<br/>
Karkat set his coffee on the table and got up to go to the kitchen. He came back with a thermos and bent down to pour his coffee in it. Dave looked over and grinned mischievously. Karkat yelped and straightened up as he felt something collide with his backside.<br/>
“H-HEY!” Karkat’s face was bright red.<br/>
“It’s my ass, I can touch it whenever I want,” Dave replied smugly, getting up and heading toward the door. Karkat said nothing and poured his coffee into the thermos. He followed Dave out the door, huffing. When they got to the apartment, they knocked on the door and waited. It took Dirk about a minute to answer it.<br/>
“You don’t have your key?” he asked.<br/>
“Nope,” Dave replied. Dirk looked down at Dave in Karkat’s body in confusion for a second before nodding. It was almost as if he had briefly forgotten what had happened.<br/>
“Good. Put your clothes and stuff in this.” He tossed Dave a red and white backpack with a record symbol on the front pouch and stepped back inside to let the other two in, Sitting down on the couch, the TV already on.<br/>
“Holy shit, I haven’t used this since middle school.” Dave was examining the backpack.<br/>
“So, are you gonna undo this?” Karkat addressed Dirk.<br/>
“Hmmm… Nope.”<br/>
“Why not?”<br/>
“I don’t feel like it.”<br/>
“I don’t suppose I could fit my turntables in here,” Dave absentmindedly wondered.<br/>
“You get those back when you move back in,” Dirk replied.<br/>
“Aw, what? No fair.”<br/>
“Sorry, bro. I don’t make the rules”<br/>
“Yes, you do, you LITERALLY JUST made those rules!” Karkat yelled. Dirk kept his eyes glued on the TV and said nothing.<br/>
“Okay, I’m packed just gotta grab a bottle of AJ,” Dave emerged from his room with the backpack slung over one shoulder.<br/>
“All out, buy your own,” Dirk half-shouted from the couch. Dave sighed and walked out the door, Karkat not too far behind, both looking less than pleased.<br/>
“Guess we’re going to the store,” Dave said, half to himself. Karkat nodded, even though Dave couldn’t see it because he was in front of Karkat. They stopped at Karkat’s house so Dave could drop off his stuff and Karkat could get his wallet before walking to the store.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Dave totally punks John</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Karkat and Dave got back to the house with the groceries, which were mostly just snacks. Dave had just opened his second bottle of apple juice while he was waiting for Karkat to unlock the door. When Karkat finally managed to get the door open, he sighed going straight to the couch and flopping down while leaving Dave to deal with the snacks. He turned on the TV just as Dave sat beside him. “Not even going to put them away?” He questioned.<br/>“Dude, do I look like I know where you keep all your shit?”<br/>“... You-”<br/>“Don’t answer that. The point is, I don’t know where they go.” Karkat rolled his eyes, deciding he could take care of it later. He flipped through the channels, trying to find something good. He finally decides on a Hallmark channel movie.<br/>“Dude,” Dave said.<br/>“What do you want?” Karkat responded irritably.<br/>“These are, like, the shittiest movies ever.”<br/>“Did I say you had to fucking watch it with me?” Dave went silent after that, just staring at the screen. After a while, he burst out laughing. “STRIDER!” Karkat shouted.<br/>“Oh, god, man. I’m sorry, it’s just too predictable, dude. Holy shit.”<br/>“If you cannot watch it quietly, just fucking leave the room, you ignorant shit-stain! I’m trying to enjoy it, and you are interrupting!”<br/>Dave did not stop laughing for a few minutes before Karkat reached over and pinched one of his grubscars, hard. “OW! That hurts, man!”<br/>“I know,” Karkat huffed, rewinding the movie so he could see what he’d missed. Dave rubbed at his side a little before quickly taking his hand away. Wow, were those things sensitive. He looked over at Karkat before reaching to prod at a rather sensitive bruise he got falling off his skateboard the other day. Karkat hissed and moved his hand to the arm where Dave had prodded. “What the fuck?”<br/>“Payback,” Dave shrugged. <br/>Karkat growled at him, standing up and grabbing the front of his shirt. “Strider, I will make you regret ever having been put on the face of this planet.”<br/>Dave just chuckled. “Aw, man. Dude, you cannot do the growl right.”<br/>Karkat used both hands to lift Dave off the couch by his shirt, surprised at how easy it was. Dave furrowed his eyebrows and grabbed at Karkat’s hands, tugging at them. “Hey, wow, what the fuck?”<br/>Karkat grinned. “Sweet godtier strength. Makes things a lot fucking easier.”<br/>“No, dude, shut the hell up. That’s my godteir strength, I earned it, you can’t use it.”<br/>Karkat didn’t respond, just held him there for a minute. This was still oddly new to him. That face he was making was very Dave, and it didn’t look quite right on his features. “Hey, quit that.”<br/>“Quit what?”<br/>“Making that dumb face.”<br/>Dave raised an eyebrow, his face otherwise unchanging. “Shut up, your face looks even dumber. If anything I should tell you to quit ruining my perfect face with such a stupid expression.”<br/>Karkat scowled further and bared his teeth in Dave’s face.<br/>“Dude. You don’t look intimidating with those flat teeth. Stop trying.”<br/>Karkat sighed, dropping Dave and going to the kitchen to put up the snacks. Dave got up to follow, rubbing at his ass and grumbling something about it being “not cool.” Karkat ignored him in favor of putting a bag of popcorn in the microwave. He waited for it to finish popping before taking it out and putting it in a bowl so he could eat while he watched a movie. Dave huffed and went into the bedroom. He sat and played on his phone a little while before setting it aside and deciding to take a shower. Not long after he’d turned on the water did Karkat come to the room a knock on the door. “Dave? What are you doing?”<br/>“I’m taking a shower, dude. Like I do every day.”<br/>“The fuck you’re not! Open the door!”<br/>“No, I’m not decent!”<br/>That only made KArkat pound harder on the door. “DAVE, OPEN THE DOOR! YOU WILL NOT TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF, YOU WILL NOT LOOK AT ANYTHING, YOU WILL NOT TOUCH ANYTHING. LET. ME. IN.” He tugged at the door handle. <br/>Dave sighed, shouting through the door, “So you just want to stay filthy and dirty the whole time?”<br/>“Yes! You don’t need to shower EVERY DAY, you can go a while without it.”<br/>“Dude, that’s gross. You’re gross.”<br/>“GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM! I DON’T WANT YOU SEEING MY NAKED BODY!”<br/>“Fine, fine! Stop wearing out my vocal chords!” He opened the door and glared at Karkat. “At least tell me where you keep your deodorant.”<br/>Karkat sighed and pointed it out. He rolled his eyes and went back to his movie. Dave scoffed, turning off the water and going to the front door. “I’m goin’ for a walk.”<br/>Karkat glanced at him. “Fine, you better not embarrass me, though.”<br/>Dave chuckled. “Will do, man.” He left the house, smiling. Karkat glared at the door, scoffing and going back to his movie. Dave went off on his way, whistling as he walked.<br/>A while later, he heard a voice call out, “HEY, KARKAT!” which he ignored. They must not be talking to him, he figured, Karkat must be around here somewhere. They called out again, then he felt someone practically barrel into him from behind. “Dude, why didn’t you respond?”<br/>“What-” He stopped as he heard Karkat’s voice, turning to look at John. Oh, that’s right. “Oh, actually, I’m not-” He stopped again, getting an idea, “-not, uhm, wanting to be bothered. I didn't want to have to talk to you today, because, fucking, I don’t want to. Is fucking why. Yep, I am Karkat and I speak loud and and say fuck every other word.”<br/>John raised an eyebrow. “Ooooh-kay… So, Karkat, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out? I mean, we haven’t done anything together in a while.”<br/>Dave suppressed a smile, rolling his eyes and scowling. “Okay, whatever. We'll hang out at my place.”<br/>John broke into a wide grin. “Sweet! Lead the way, ‘Kat!”<br/>Holy shit this was going so well. He was pranking John so fucking good right now. He nodded and led them to Karkat’s house. Once they got there, Karkat was laying across the couch, nibbling on popcorn as a trashy romance played. John waved at him.<br/>“Oh, hi Dave! I didn’t know you were here!”<br/>Karkat looked up, raising an eyebrow before seeing Dave beside him. Right. “Actually, it’s Karkat, we fucking switched bodies or some shit. Dave, why the fuck did you invite him over without my permission?”<br/>John rolled his eyes. “Yeah right, Dave, that’s got to be the lamest attempt at a prank ever. Karkat didn’t say anything about it.” Dave was grinning. Fucker planned this. Karkat stood, walking over to them.<br/>“What? For fucks sake, John, that’s not me! That’s Dave, in my body!”<br/>Dave snickered a little. “I don’t fucking know what you’re talking about.”<br/>“That’s not even convincing!”<br/>John rolled his eyes, “C’mon, dude, drop it. I just wanna play some video games. Do you have three controllers, Karkat?”<br/>Dave opened his mouth before he was immediately tackled by Karkat. They rolled around on the floor, struggling. John jumped back. “Dave! Holy shit!”<br/>Karkat was pulling at Dave, who was swiping at him with his claws, neither of them were giving in or losing. Eventually John just teleported back in time to stop the fight and hold Karkat back. “Dave, what the fuck are you doing?” Karkat, startled, tried to throw John off him. Then, he scowled, a signature scowl, and John’s eyes widened.<br/>“John, I don’t know how or why you can be such a moronic shit-pile of brain-dead matter and have possibly fucking lived this long. I’m honestly surprised you didn’t keel over with stupidity the moment you were created.” <br/>John let him go and stepped back, blinking. “Okay, dude, I believe you, jeez. How, though?”<br/>Dave shrugged from the doorway. “Dirk did it.” The other John just sort of walked out awkwardly, not knowing exactly what to do at this point. Karkat huffed and shoved at John, changing the TV to his gaming console and putting in a game. He brought out three controllers, tossing one at Dave and John each. He sat back on the couch, starting it up.<br/>They played for a while, until John piped up. “So, what exactly happened anyway?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. discussions of weed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John and Dave were still playing, Karkat having got frustrated and quit. He leaned over the back of the couch, eating chips as he watched.<br/>
“No, John, you have to- the- the powerup! It’s right there! John!”<br/>
“Geez, Karkat, I have it under control!” He bit his lip, “You’re distracting me!”<br/>
Dave chuckled. “Shit, Karks, you aren’t even playing and you’re getting frustrated.”<br/>
“It’s very frustrating to watch!” He groaned exasperatedly and left the room, going into his room. He laid on the bed for a second, watching the ceiling.<br/>
“Karkat! Where’d you go?” He groaned a little, sitting up. Fuck, he had to pee. He went into the bathroom and then stopped, staring downward.<br/>
“Uhhh, Dave?”<br/>
Dave came in, leaning on the door frame. “Woah, Kitkat, you tryin’ to peep on my junk? You a pervert or something, dude?”<br/>
“Shut up, I have to piss!”<br/>
“Oh, uhh, I dunno man, just, do what you normally do, but don’t look?”<br/>
Karkat huffed, moving to close the door. Dave stepped out so he could have some privacy. After a minute he came out, face red. “I'M SORRY!”<br/>
Dave jumped back. “Whoah, what?”<br/>
“I- I looked, I’m sorry.”<br/>
“Wait, you-”<br/>
“It was an accident! I just, looked down and I saw…”<br/>
“Oh, man, I guess it’s fine, you know? It happens, guys walk in on other guys…”<br/>
“It’s fucking weird, though…”<br/>
Dave looked taken aback. John, who had overheard everything, burst out laughing. He cackled loudly, doubling over and kicking his legs. Karkat scowled, though John couldn’t see it, but Dave started lightly chuckling as well.<br/>
“Okay, sorry dude, just- you haven’t ever seen a human penis? Ever? No diagrams, not when you were spying on each of our lives?” Dave asked, incredulously.<br/>
“NO! I- I knew it was gonna be weird… I didn’t want to see it…”<br/>
Dave chuckled a little more. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and went back to the game with John. Karkat huffed and went back to watching them, shouting at the screen and the two players every once in a while. After a while, they turned off the TV and just sat around chatting.<br/>
“Dude, I’ve kind of always wanted to try weed.” Dave admitted. “Like, it just… seemed like the kinda thing i’d do?”<br/>
John snorted. “No way man, why would you wanna try that shit?”<br/>
Karkat looked at them, a serious look on his face. “Why would you want to eat weeds?” The other two started laughing their asses off at him.<br/>
John wiped a tear from his eye. “No, dude, he means the drug. Like, maurijauna.”<br/>
“What the fuck is maurijuana?”<br/>
Dave grinned. “We could try and have you find out.”<br/>
John shoved at him. “Dude, no. It’s a mind altering substance-”<br/>
“I fucking know what drugs are! I just- it was a stupid question… You know, maybe, we could try it…”<br/>
John sighed. “Karkat, not you too! Drugs are bad!”<br/>
Dave snorted, shoving at John. “Tightass. You know what? We should totally ask around and see if any of our friends has any…”<br/>
John furrowed his eyebrows, pouting. “I’m not a tightass, I just don’t want you dying because of it…”<br/>
Karkat perked up as someone knocked on the door. “I’ll get it,” he mumbled, getting up and going to the door. “Oh it’s you. Mind putting Dave and I back in our own bodies?” He greeted Dirk.<br/>
“Nah, just came ‘round to say hi. Oh, sup John.” He waved, then turned back to Karkat. “Can I come in now?”<br/>
Karkat huffed and stepped inside, sitting back in his seat. Dave looked at Dirk. “Oh, bro, I have a question to ask.”<br/>
“Ask away, dude.”<br/>
“So, have you ever tried weed?”<br/>
“Yeah, couple a times. Why?”<br/>
“What’s it like, dude?”<br/>
“Well, different for everyone I guess. I was pretty neat though, ten out of ten would recommend.”<br/>
Dave chuckled, laying back. Karkat decided to pipe up. “So, where do we get it?”<br/>
Dirk chuckled, sitting on the coffee table. “I just alchemize mine.”<br/>
John looked affronted at first but then intrigued as time went on. He tilted his head. “You have a totem for it?”<br/>
Dirk nodded. “Wanna borrow it?”<br/>
Karkat, Dave, and John looked at each other before nodding a little. Dave answered, “Yeah, sure.”<br/>
Dirk decaptchalogged it, handing it over. “I recommend brownies, to be honest. Make it taste better.”<br/>
Dave nodded, taking the totem that looked suspiciously like a bong. He captchalogged it, smiling at John. “Change your mind, did you?” John just huffed, crossing his arms.<br/>
They kept talking about random stuff for a while before Dirk stood up. “Well, guess i should get going. It was nice talkin’ with you.” John stood as well as Dirk left, saying goodbye and leaving before waving Dirk down. They talked outside the window for a minute before heading off fairly close together.<br/>
Karkat looked over at Dave. “Think they might have chemistry?”<br/>
Dave gave him an incredulous look. “What, John and Dirk? No way man, that’s  weird.”<br/>
“Are you sure? I think I saw a spark…”<br/>
“Dude, this is not one of your dumb romance movies.”<br/>
Karkat rolled his eyes, turning the TV back to watch more of said movies. Dave rolled his eyes and went into the kitchen to prepare lunch. He brought a couple of sandwiches, handing one to Karkat, who took it and began to eat absently as he watched. Dave ate his as well, deciding to sit down and watch the movie with Karkat. A while later, Karkat is ugly crying, tears rolling down his face. He wipes at his eyes a little and Dave turns to him, patting him on the back. “Uh… there, there… why are you crying?”<br/>
Karkat sniffled a little. “They’re- so- good- together-” He said between breaths. Dave just nodded, patting his knee. Jesus, when was the last time he saw himself like this? When he was, what, seven? He sighed, holding Karkat’s hand gently. He didn’t know why, it just felt right. Karkat accepted it as well, smiling softly at him. Dave smiled back awkwardly.<br/>
“Well, wanna go to the park or something? I think I need to get out of the house,” Karkat told him.<br/>
Dave nodded, standing up. “Hell yeah, more fresh air never hurt anyone.” He stretched a little, going to the door. Karkat followed, sighing softly. They walked to the park, a little close to each other. They got there and started to walk along the path, chatting a little more. Eventually they ran into Jade and Davepeta, out for a walk.<br/>
“Oh, hey guys!” Jade greeted them. “What are you doing out here together?”<br/>
Dave and Karkat startled, stepping away from each other a little bit. “Nothing,” Karkat said quickly, “just walking.” Yeah, smooth. Not suspicious at all.<br/>
Davepeta giggled at that. “Okay, whatefur you say…” They pulled down their shades to wink at the other two. Karkat huffed and crossed his arms, Dave shuffled his feet awkwardly, both red in the face.<br/>
“Can’t you mind your own fucking buisiness, you goddamn bulge-licking, moronic cunt? Can’t two people take a walk in a peaceful fucking environment without some shithead interrogating them? Is it really so much to ask that I have a nice, relaxing walk with my platonic friend in the middle of the day without being interrupted?” Jade and Davepeta stared at him, shocked.<br/>
“Dave?” Jade asked, incredulously. “What was that?”<br/>
Karkat looked confused, then his eyes widened and his mouth made an ‘o’ shape. Before he could say anything else, Dave piped up. “Dirk switched our bodies. That’s Karkat. I’m Dave.”<br/>
Davepeta snorted, laughing. “Dude, holy shit. Oh my god, that’s just purrecious. What’d you even do?”<br/>
Karkat tried to growl, unsuccessfully. Dave just rolled his eyes. “We woke him up. No big deal, he’s probably gonna undo it any time soon.”<br/>
Davepeta was still laughing. Jade was chuckling a bit, too, but managed to get it under control. She grabs her partner’s hand, waving as they set off. Dave and Karkat started walking again, but a little farther away from each other than before. They decided to go back to their house after a while, sitting at the couch.<br/>
Dave sighed. “Now what?”<br/>
Karkat thought for a moment. “...We could try that… weed stuff.”<br/>
Dave thought as well. “Hmm, maybe. We could maybe bake some edibles and have them after dinner.”<br/>
Karkat nodded, pointing out the alchemizing room. Dave went into it and came out with a bag of something green. He smiled at Karkat. “Got a good brownie recipe?”</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>